Moms return to work

Mom is back at work and slowly getting back in the swing of things.
I'm excited and thrilled to be back at my desk and almost back to remembering how to layout a newspaper page and get back to what I love - working in a newsroom.
Is it possible to have a life outside the home and be a mother? Of course!
For the sanity of my family it's important that mom works.
For the sanity of my marriage it's essential that mom works.
And for the sanity of mom it's essential that mom works.
The best part of mom going off each morning to earn a little cash is that she's happy to contribute to the family income, enjoys her job and needs the short drive to work to collect her thoughts. And catch up on what's on the bestseller list by listening to books on tape. You just can't get all that reading done when you're reading The Cat in the Hat for the third time each night.
How does one woman make all this happen? I've got help. Lots and lots of help. And I'm thankful for it and learning it's OK to ask for it.
For starters, I've hired a live-in caregiver who cares for the children while mom is at work. When I get home the children are fed, bathed and dinner is on the table. The children are rested and happy and mom can enjoy the children for the rest of the evening spending quality time playing make believe, reading stories and singing songs. I look forward to every minute of my evening.
Oh, and when it's the hubby's day off, mom and dad even get to spend time together - sans kids!
I've also got the support of my extended family on my side. My mom prepares all of the little guys' meals, makes special meals for Hannah that require a few minutes in the microwave and I've got one happy preschooler. And my mom is (almost) always there if I need to pop over to the gym for a quick workout.
It takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to help a mom be a good wife, a good co-worker and a great person.
It's great to be back in the workforce!

Happy Birthday My Little Man

A year ago today I met my little boy and it's been a wonderful year with him.
Motherhood the second time around seemed a whole lot easier because mom was more relaxed and had more of an idea of what she was doing. Or was it just that this little one was an easier baby than the first?
Maybe a bit of both!
Either way, I've survived the first year of my son's life and I'm looking forward to watching him take his first steps and say his first words. Does screaming like a madman count as first words?
The house has been cleared of all the baby stuff: bibs, newborn onesies, bouncy chairs and Bumbos.
It's been replaced with big boy toys, safety gates, Robeez and trails of toilet paper all around the house.
I'm glad this first year of child rearing is over. It was the part of motherhood I hated the most the first time around. It wasn't as bad the second time around but I didn't enjoy the first year as much as I enjoy a toddler and preschooler.
Mom's looking forward to watching her little guy grow up.
Happy birthday little guy!

Raising anti-consumer children

Consumer culture saturates kids' lives

By Paul Hanley, The StarPhoenix

Some time ago I had an opportunity to travel to the Athabasca sand dunes, an incredibly beautiful wilderness area in Saskatchewan's far north. Walking along the beach after a day of hiking, I stepped on something sharp, a plastic action figure that had floated up onto the sand.

No matter where you go, it is impossible to avoid consumer culture. Whether it's a wilderness area or an exotic location in Asia or Africa, you are likely to find the familiar set of cultural characters we see every day in films and television and toys.

Chinese parents enrol their kids in Disney-themed English language training that rewards learning with Disney trinkets and government-banned Disney films. In India, McDonald's hands out the movie-based toys with its burgers and fries. And in Namibia, SpongeBob SquarePants, whose cartoon airs in 171 markets, in 25 languages, around the world, visits schools to promote the show.

According to Susan Linn of the Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood, writing in State of the World 2010 (www.worldwatch.org), commercialization is undermining kids' futures by eliminating playtime. Creative play, of the unstructured, child-directed, make-believe variety, is important for childhood development, so much so that it is a guaranteed right in the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child.

"The ability to play creatively is central to the human capacity to experiment, to act rather than react, and to differentiate oneself from the environment," writes Linn. "It is how children wrestle with life and make it meaningful. Spirituality and advances in science and art are all rooted in play. Play promotes attributes essential to a democratic populace, such as curiosity, reasoning, empathy, sharing, co-operation, and a sense of competence -- a belief that the individual can make a difference in the world. Constructive problem-solving, divergent thinking, and the capacity for self-regulation are all developed through creative play."

This type of free play is being eroded in our commercialized, consumer culture. One international survey found that only 27 per cent of children currently engage in imaginative play, running around outside, playing dress-up, building forts. What do they do instead? Watch TV, play video games, surf the Net. Spending 40 hours a week in front of a screen is not unusual, it's typical.

Kids are given an early start. In the U.S., almost one-fifth of babies under one have a TV in their bedroom. But it's not just the kids in "rich" countries anymore: 91 per cent of Vietnamese mothers say their kids watch TV often as do 80 per cent in Argentina, Brazil, India and Indonesia.

TV is the launching pad for commercial culture. Today, U.S. marketers are spending $17 billion marketing to kids. The trend is spreading worldwide, with food companies alone spending close to $2 billion promoting their wares to kids.

The World Health Organization and other public health institutions identify marketing to children as a significant factor in the worldwide epidemic of childhood obesity, according to Linn. In addition, advertising and marketing have been associated with eating disorders, sexualization, youth violence, family stress, and underage alcohol and tobacco use.

"The underlying message of nearly all marketing, regardless of the product being advertised, is that the things people buy will make them happy," comments Linn. "Aside from the fact that research on happiness shows this to be false, immersing children in a message that material goods are essential to self-fulfillment promotes the acquisition of materialistic values, which have been linked to depression and low self-esteem."

A growing movement is reacting to this trend by cutting down on commercial time and encouraging more free play. Quebec, for example, has the most stringent rules in the world about marketing to children. They don't allow any television ads aimed at kids under 13. Movements like Germany's Waldkindergartens have young kids spend much of their school time outdoors in natural settings. And, in Saskatoon, we have school programs like EcoQuest, that engage kids not only in outdoor activity, but in a critical analysis of their commercialized world.

Perhaps every class should be more like that.

© Copyright (c) The StarPhoenix

This article made my day.

Why? It makes the parents of the Bum Bum Patch seem less crazy about our anti-consumer stance when it comes to our children. And it follows a very positive report card the preschooler brought home from her little readers program. The teacher wrote how exceptional our daughters imagination is and that my little girls' vocabulary is beyond her years. Not having Disney in the house helps but so does have parents who work with words for a living.

Ice rink days remembered

The girls rushing around in their frilly skating outfits and pink shiny skate guards who were waiting for the ice to be cleaned gave this mom a wake up call: no figure skating for my child.
There's no way that my daughter is going to get involved with this form of recreation. This is way to girlie for mom and dad would never approve.
This weekend, while my daughter was taking her first city run Fun with French class, mom pulled up a seat at the ice rink and sat down with a good book and cup of tea thinking I'd kill 90 minutes until the end of class when the skaters - and their mothers - arrived.
It seems all the negative aspects of the sport were oozing off of these little children: competitiveness, body image issues, conformity. I could go on but I don't want the hate comments.
Bright, smart and intelligent was not the first thing that came to my mind when I saw these girls rushing around. It's sad but that was the first impression I got. And it was a first because the world of figure skating is foreign to me. Growing up with two brothers I was the goalie or I was left out of all the fun.
My immediate reaction was to escape the arena and head for the coffee shop but after a moment I settled in and observed what was going on in the lobby.
Keep in mind, now I was the creepy stranger sitting alone watching girls figure skate. A few parents gave me the once over as if I was a pervert but the left-wing parenting book I was reading might have offered some comfort that I was just another parent.
While I read my book, from the corner of my eye I could see the figure skating moms stuffing their faces with bite-sized doughnuts and washing it down with extra-large coffees. Most of these women looked as if they could use some serious ice time.
It must take a whole lot of love for your children to be at the rink early on Saturday morning instead of devoting time to oneself. I give these parents credit.
That's what got me thinking. Is figure skating more about the parents wanting their child to be a famous skater? I'm thinking this might be more for the parents. Is figure skating like dance classes only on ice? Is it a few steps away from those child beauty pageants? Oh, my, it might like Disney Princesses only on ice?
I've just experienced an entire realm of activity I had no idea existed. Now that I think of it, my mom may have shielded me from the harsh reality of figure skating. Could she have not wanted to spend more time at the rink?
As a youngster I spent a whole lot of time at ice rinks watching my brothers play hockey. It never made me happy to be there. I was the kid with a hot chocolate in one hand and a paperback in the other waiting for the buzzer so I could get out of the smelly joint.
Or, mom would drop me off at the library and head over to the rink with the boys. The librarian would keep and eye on me. Oddly enough, I looked forward to those mornings. The library was really quiet - I might have been the only one there. It was time for my imagination to go wild.
So, here we are today, about 20 years later and I'm still the one who'd rather read instead of jump on the ice and dance around. It's comforting to know I'd found what made me happiest early in life. I can only hope the same for my daughter. And I really hope it has nothing to do with an ice rink. Please, oh, please, no!
Next week, mom's heading to the coffee shop to blog while the preschooler learns French. Which, by the way, was all her idea and had nothing to do with me. Trust me, I'd rather be at yoga on Saturday morning at 9 a.m. than loading up on caffeine.

Is The Compact possible for families?

Eureka! There's an anti-consumerism movement to soothe my shopping blues called The Compact and I think I like it.
And my gut feeling was correct. There are others out there with the same views as mine. And my fellow anti-consumerism folks - who've had enough with cheaply made junk - have banded together to live a life with less stuff. Now that's cool!
But is it possible - especially with a preschooler and an infant?
Do I have an inner Judith Levine inside me who is ready for this challenge?
In my case, I usually stay away from shopping until it's a crisis situation and we are in total need of items, generally housewares, I mean, how long can you go without furniture?
If it wasn't for my husband taking the initiative and buying nice new couches and area rugs our friends and family would be sitting on our very nice hardwood floors. And my mom would so not approve of that.
But can I commit to this idea of buying nothing new? Right now, I'm on the fence about it. I've even given it a test run. And failed.
This week I tried not to buy anying new, except it seems there's always something that needs to be tended to, in my house, at least. For example, today I went to a housewares warehouse to purchase: kitchen scissors, small cutting board, kitchen drawer organizer and shower mat.
These items have been on a list on my wall for more than a few months. I'm going to say maybe close to a year. And we really need them.
Then there's the kids. It's tough for infants to go without certain items, let's say baby bottle nipples. Those are totally an item that must be purchased new. I mean, I would use hand me down ones from a friend or family member but it seems to be one of those items that not everyone has. Don't worry, my little man mom will get you new size four nipples as soon as she talks herself into going to the baby big box store. OK pookie.
It would be exciting to try and not buy anything new for a few months and maybe a year but I have a feeling it would be close to impossible because of the kids.

Facing my shopping dilemma

Shopping is not my favourite activity. And shopping at Ikea makes it even worse.
That was my task for today and I'm glad it's over. I'm nursing my anxiety and disgust with a warm cup of tea and Petit Ecolier cookies.
Most women love to shop, for me it's a task I put off until my mom starts to buy home decor items for my house because she's not thrilled with my "you've been robbed" look and my kids' pants are about two inches too short.
When it comes to my clothes I generally don't go shopping for myself until the item I'm wearing starts to turn to dust. I think there's a Seinfeld episode about this.
That's when I get the hint it's time for the dreaded task of shopping.
Why do I hate it so much?
Simple: There's already too much stuff/crap in the world and going out and buying more only fuels the problem. We don't need all this stuff. The planet does not need all this stuff. My children do not need all this stuff.
I need to create a slogan for my life: Less stuff, more creativity, more reading, more love?
No wait, too hippie-sounding, I'll have to work on this one.
You see, when I go shopping I have anxiety. Major anxiety. I've had to leave malls-gasping-for-air anxiety. That time it was The Gap that did it.
Before you call me a nutter and stop reading, please hear me out.
When I go shopping, let's say at a big box store (the worst sort of shopping), I don't see items at cheap prices, I see sweatshop workers, I see prices marked up 50 per cent plus another 20 per cent for reward programs, I see unfair work conditions, CEOs selling items to our children that they don't need. Ah, I'm getting stressed out just writing this.
In my heart of hearts I know how it all works but I just don't like it and have always found it difficult as, especially as a woman, that I was not be born to shop.
In most cases it alientates me. I've yet to find a group of women in their 20s or 30s who don't like to shop. Maybe I should seek out the local quilting bee for friends.
Shopping is about moving product. And lots of it. It's not about the customer or the person who made the item. As a consumer, I've always found that relationship missing in the shopping experience. Because when I bring home the item I've purchased it's just a widget and there's no connection to it. And now I seem to have an entire house full of items with which I have no relationship.
Alright, in my ideal world shopping would be going to an artisan market and talking to the craftsman or artist and paying a fair price. I'm cheap, when it comes to buying most things, so I'd like to think I'm getting a bargain.
Heck, I'd even go as far as to say that I'd be thrilled to be able to craft, for myself, a few items I needed. Unfortunately, the written word leaves its wearer exposed to the elements. I'm skilled in a craft that is not very useful in the utilitarian sense.
My grandmother tried to teach me to sew. She quickly declared me useless.
I've tried to learn to knit many times. I am really good at making scarves with big holes.
In high school I made a mean dovetail joint. However, instead of making something useful I created a "sculpture" and almost failed because that item was deemed useless. Thank goodness my candlestick holder on the lathe was a hit and I passed with flying colours.
If I were going to make my own clothes it would be made of scraps of fabric in a patchwork design. And sadly, this look has gone out of fashion and I don't think it's one of those fads that will make a big comeback.
This brings me back to my original dilemma and an issue that has followed me since I was a little kid. I'm serious, I think I was at Kmart babysitting my great grandma while my mom shopped for pantyhose that I had these deep thoughts about shopping and I haven't come to terms with it yet.
Sadly, I have no idea how to remedy this shopping issue of mine. This topic might be a blog all to itself.
I can't just stop shopping, or can I?

Preschooler finds the indoors more fun

Happy new year!
Our annual winter vacation to a lodge in Ontario's north country was not as exciting as I'd hoped for but it sure was relaxing.
Now, don't get me wrong, I needed a break from the mundane tasks of motherhood, but I was fully expecting my preschooler to want to build snowmen, make snow angels, go sliding - anything outdoors. That's why we paid all this money, right?
Nope, not my preschooler. She was content stripping down to her undies and watching the fire.
Any fire was good. The one in our cabin: great! The one outdoors: cool! The one in the lodge: very exciting!
We paid all this money and all she wanted to do was sit and watch a log burn? Sit and keep cozy and warm by the fire? What kind of preschool slug do I have on my hands?
Once dad got the fire going in our cabin she got comfortable on a stack of pillows and began to create make believe stories from the shapes she saw in the fire.
Yes, great, very creative and I'm sure it's a great stride in child development to do this - but we paid all this money, why could she not take in nature's winter beauty?
And there was mom ready to go cross country skiing, snowshoeing, ice skating on the lake - come on, this is what I've been waiting to share with you, my dear little three year old.
But we could not get her outdoors for love nor money.
OK, that's not true, she did try skating for about 15 minutes and realized that poking the fire by the ice rink with a really long stick was far more relaxing than learning to skate.
And to think, mom had packed two pairs of long underwear and snowsuits and hats and gloves because I thought she would be soaking wet from all her outdoor snow activity.
As for the almost one year old - he was a handful. But he was not a fan of the snow or the cold. It was indoors for him, baby.
Nonetheless, our mini vacation to Ontario's winter wonderland was spent indoors admiring the snow and breathtaking scenery.
Yes, and the preschooler is very good at socializing. Each night in the common room she made sure she introduced herself to all the new guests and that they knew her name and how old she was. And if they wanted to play newborn puppy farm. She did get a few takers in the three to four year old group.
If the next year goes as smoothly as our time at the lodge it's going to be a great one.
All the best in 2010.

Magic of the Nutcracker Ballet Jorgen style

It was a magical evening as mother and daughter took in Ballet Jorgen's Group of Seven Nutcracker.
Taking my daughter to the ballet is a moment I've been waiting for since she was born. It was an honour to share the magic of the ballet - especially the story of the Nutcracker.
For me, Christmas means the Nutcracker ballet.
For the past 10 years I've spoiled myself by enjoying an evening at James Kudelka's Nutcrakcer. It would not be the holiday season without going to see this ballet.
When the time came to purchase my annual tickets to the classic show I was taken aback by the cost. I wanted front row seats for my daughter and I. If I was going to introduce her to the ballet it had to be the best seat in the house for this pair. But I think she was too young to appreciate the full scale of this show.
And my greatest fear was that a preschooler would not sit through the show, find ballet silly or shout: "Mom, I have to go potty," in the middle of the Sugar Plum Fairy solo and I'd die of embaressment and not return to my seat.
It would be a massive waste of cash.
That's when I discovered Ballet Jorgen was performing at a local community theatre. And it was performing an interesting version of the Nutcracker - a uniquely Canadian one.
The backdrop features Group of Seven paintings and the story takes place in a village outside Ontario's Algonquin Park. It includes Canadian wildlife and even Mounties. This take on the classic holiday tale works and is great for young Canadian children to see.
Going into the show I was worried that it was not going to be like the "real" Nutcracker that I was used to. I was pleasantly surprised.
I cannot compare the two productions. The Group of Seven Nutcracker is an entirely unique show and it's not the traditional big production of the Nutcracker. But it still provides the essense and lovely dancing of the traditional show.
Nevertheless, the magic and surprise of the story is brought to life without all the grand scenes, costumes and elite dancers. And the familiar wildlife in the for of cute critters connects with the younger audience.
If you have a preschooler or older child make time to see Ballet Jorgen's Group of Seven Nutcracker and watch your little one's eyes light up with excitement.
When my daughter was an infant I purchased a special gift for her: a fancy metal nutcracker whose head opens and inside there's a nutcracker necklace. Last night I gave her the gift. She fell in love with it.
During the performance she sat in my lap and held her nutcracker and wore her necklace and didn't blink an eye in case she missed a moment of the action.

Christmas re-cap

Father and son share a Christmas moment.

Preparing one princess fairy doctor for surgery.

Unwrapping every present is as exciting as opening the first.

Four generations gather in the kitchen for festive food and fun.
From left to right: Mother of the Bum Bum Patch, The Baba, my mom and my daughter.

Finally getting around to posting our Christmas pictures. Let's just say the holiday was way too busy as it is and two kids in the mix makes life that much more exciting.
Here's a few pictures to highlight the three-day Christmas celebration.
Why three days? Because Greek families love to eat and one day is not enough to visit - and eat a full Christmas dinner - at every cousins house.
On the gift front, my kids didn't get too many gifts but enough to they know they are spoiled.
I stuck to my guns and only purchased one gift per child. In my books, stockings are for socks and underwear and a few sweet treats from Santa not crappy little "stocking-stuffer gifts". Go ahead and call me Grinch, I'm used to it.
Of course, dad went behind mom's back and bought a few extra gifts for his little ones. I wasn't upset but I'd like to trim down the number of items he gets them next year.
When it comes to gifts that keep on giving books always make amazing gifts for children. And at this house we can't get enough books. But this year we did fall short on classic tales for kids. The preschooler did get the Beatrix Potter set and we've read three books already and she loves the tales. Thank you to those who purchased quality reads for our little ones. Mom and Dad will be reading the stories again and again and ...
Now mom is left with the aftermath of gift giving: sorting old toys and donating the gently loved item to charity to make room for the new ones.
Thank you to friends and family for making this holiday great.

The homemade stockings are hung!

Thank goodness I started making my son's felt applique stocking in August because it took until last night to complete.
And the craftsmanship is not too bad either. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.
For the past six months it's been a love hate relationship with the craft. There were times when I was going to toss the stocking in the trash and hit Walmart and buy a ready made one.
But you could not buy one like this because it would cost at least a few thousand dollars. The endless hours I put into making the stocking drove the price up several thousand dollars.
Why put myself through all the trauma? I'm a modern mom what's with the whole gift from the heart mumbo-jumbo?
When I'm dead and gone I hope my son looks at his stocking and can tell a whole lot about his dear mother. For one, that mom had some trouble staying inside the lines, wasn't perfect but tried her best and that even if she thought she could not finish the task (stocking) she stuck to it and saw it to the end.
Slow down mom, my son is a male, so I'm sure he will not be that sentimental about a handmade stocking, but I hope he does the same for his children.
Maybe not sew or knit a stocking (that's way too much to ask of a real man) but take time out of a busy day to make something for his children to show them how much he cares. Maybe a hamburger in the shape of a stocking?
My grandmother made my stocking and every stitch is industrial machine perfect. Not a ruined corner or colour out of place. That's my grandma to a tee.
It's funny, because, even the thick woolly sweaters I ask her to handwash for me are returned looking way better then when I gave them to her. I have no idea how she does it. She's magical with fabric.
Now, before you cry senior abuse, she loves to handwash my sweaters. She always asks if I have any that need washing. She says as long as she can handwash she will.
With Christmas gone over the top commercial there's something to be said about those who take the time to make homemade gifts, cards or treats. It's from the heart and it really means something (even if it's for a split second). You can't buy those types of feelings at the mall.
When it comes to homemade stockings, what I'm trying to get at is that you can tell a whole lot about a person from their sewing skills.
While I was sewing my son's stocking I tried to make it perfect - just like the picture on the front of the package - but the stitches were not even, pieces didn't fit just right and there's a drumstick that's a little too far off to the left. But if it were any other way it would not be made with love from mom.
Oh, and there's no way I will have any more children because I'm not making any more handmade stockings.